Everybody thinks they’re right.
One of the best lessons I was ever taught was to remember that “people have a real hard time accepting that they’re not perfect.” That’s not to say that every single person is sauntering around the planet believing that they are true and unique perfection (there are some, but not all). What I took away from this lesson is: people have spent their entire, individual, respective lives, having to justify their actions to themselves and to others.
I am a huge fan of Brian Kesinger. I love his work. I think these Star Wars/ Calvin & Hobbes mash-up reimaginings are wickedly clever and adorable.
This particular sketch struck me on a deeper level, though.
“Good” VS “Evil”.
Who is correct? Which one is the traitor?
Is it Rey, because she’s rebelling against a widely accepted form of government? Or is it Kylo Ren, because he’s forgotten his humanity and turned to less-than-ethical behaviors to assert his dominance?
It depends on whose history book you read.
Everybody thinks they’re the good guy.
I watched this incredible interview with a former United States CIA agent and she spoke of this same phenomenon. She urges people to talk to one another and reminds us that we’re more alike than we might be comfortable admitting.
Within this past week, Kat Von D and Jeffree Star have made a very public display of their “disassociation” from each other. I watched Kat’s explanation video first, and then watched Jeffree’s response video after.
Both videos are full of emotions and justifications. They are both SO sure that they’re the “real” side of the argument.
I have met both these celebrities. I’ve had one short interaction with each of them, separately.
I met Jeffree at IMATs in 2014:
And I met Kat at the Renaissance Faire in 2015:
It’s difficult for their fans in this situation because with the volume of social media that washes over us everyday, we feel like we know both of them. I, personally, have spent a considerable amount of money on Kat’s makeup line. There’s a certain level of trust and loyalty that comes with trusting a makeup line with your face. While I have not invested in Jeffree’s makeup line, I enjoy his social media presence and makeup tutorials thoroughly.
But now this weird line has been drawn in the proverbial sand and their followers/ fans/ customers are left to make their own decision.
They both seem so sure.
They are both very convincing.
They are both talking to YouTube and not to each other.
Have you ever been involved with this kind of a catastrophe?
I have. It’s hideous. 100% do not recommend.
I can’t imagine having my life vomited up on the internet for public viewing and commentary.
Another factor that irritates me like a twisted bra strap is the fact that two professional, grown-ass adults are fanning an internet flame war during all the chaos and actual horror that is surrounding us on the daily.
Why the absolute fuck is this important?
(Spoiler alert: IT’S NOT.)
Did you read about the man who strangled his sister to death as an “honor killing“? Another person who thought he was right. He genuinely believes he was doing the right thing, because he thought his sister’s behavior on social media was beyond inappropriate.
I think the world needs to take a pill of the CHILL variety. Calm all the tits. TALK. TO. EACH. OTHER. Stop all your judgements and assumptions.
Just stop it.
Learn from mistakes, patterns, and repetitive behaviors, sure. But don’t assume you know what’s going on in anybody else’s life or mind.
If you are willing to take a firm stance on one side of the line in the sand, I suggest and encourage that you do your research, compose yourself, and be ready to defend your stance, in case you find yourself painted into a corner.
The mindset these days is to just block and ignore anybody who confronts you. I don’t think that’s the solution. Questions are not answered. Concerns are not addressed. Conflict is not neutralized.
Ignoring a problem doesn’t make it go away. It’ll grow like a cancer and become something much uglier than it had been, initially. You don’t have to shoulder the responsibility for other peoples’ feelings, but just hitting “block” won’t necessarily solve the issues, either. And think real hard on calling people out, publicly.